When relationships get serious, our pasts and her parameters play a larger role.
Maybe we’re asked (or told) to cut and change things that we see no issue with. These can be make-or-break moments for budding relationships.
How should strong men respond to such rules and requests?
Do we fight them, ignore them, or give in to them?
What is submissive and what is strong?
In this one, I share some of the dynamics behind the trust in my 7-year marriage, some key decisions I made along the rocky early path, and the now-clear aftermath of those decisions. I speak of:
Owning the Big: Getting real about the things in your past -- relationships, mistakes, and things that both hooked and hurt you -- is absolutely essential to building a sturdy future.
Honoring the Small: You are not entitled to her trust. It's not offensive or assuming for her to probe into your activities and standards -- it's smart. Whether you're limiting your Instagram time or simply telling her where you are once she's chilling before bed-time, earn her trust.
Awaiting the Change: When we make sacrifices to bolster trust in our relationship, we do so with limited view of the future -- a future in which we will be more trusted and more free. If we saw the future perfectly, the sacrifice wouldn't be what it needs to be.
Sometimes we must do things to earn the trust of others, and as we do so, we're also learning to trust that God has a purpose for those submissions.
In short, I am so glad that I chose (against my nature, the odds, and many outside opinions) to prioritize the building of trust in my marriage. It has paid immense dividends not only in my relationship, but in my character.
That's just the thing: by the time we "earn the freedom" that we originally may have felt entitled to, we've seen some of the previously-hidden enslavements of our individuality, and we're grateful that the sacrifice has purified our interests and passions. We are now truly "free" -- the term being redefined by our willing submission.
Whether you’re considering leveling-up a relationship or building trust in your longstanding marriage, this episode will help you.
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Keep growing. If it's painful, it's likely purposeful, and worth it.