The Call of the Crown
Many woman didn’t have dads, and so they do not have a model of manhood casted.
Other women had (or have) crappy ones.
Some women had (or have) amazing fathers, and they often gravitate towards men who remind them of their fathers.
Regardless of why, I have found that women instinctually crave love and leadership from men. Enter a man willing to give her love and leadership, and she will be committed.
Women humbly submit to this authority.
Men love this authority.
Men are abusing this authority.
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You're finally respected and revered the way you believe you should be, but just because she treats you like a hero doesn’t make you one. You have to become worthy of leading her.
This crown is an invitation to grow into a man worthy of the title — worthy of being her protector and provider. You either answer that call or you abuse the crown.
The crown has a cost, and if you're doing one of these things in life, you're not paying it:
You’re watching pornography.
She may communicate that she is okay with it, or even open to partaking in it, but even if these are true, the forces underlying them are not ones you should support. Leadership requires doing the right thing even when the wrong thing would be acceptable. Get it out of your life -- the only way to do so, for good, is to speak to other men about it. Start with puredesire.org -- that saved my marriage.
You’re refusing to commit to her.
If you've been dating a women for 4+ years and haven't made a commitment (ring optional, heart commitment mandatory), make a decision. Her life, and yours, are short. Don't waste either for your comfort's sake. Man up -- make a decision. The best way to hurt her is to keep her strung along while you weigh your options.
You’re putting others over her.
If she is with you, she deserves respect. If you're married, she IS you -- your souls are united. Do not allow others to put her down, ignore her, or deprioritize her.
This takes a mental shift that is very difficult, but very essential, for newly married men. Your marriage has to be more important than your work, your parents' thoughts, and your friends' priorities.
If you do not learn this, you will either learn what divorce looks like, or simply how to manipulate and use your wife and marriage to serve your interests.
I've failed many times in all of these categories. The goal here is not to condemn, but to equip and challenge you, and myself, to not rest in wearing the crown that our women have given us, but to earn the wearing of it -- to answer the call.
Will you rise to the occasion? Will you earn the crown you've been given?
Heads-Up! My first book just dropped.
This 100-page book details the 12 lessons I learned about myself, our broken culture, and our loving God by failing in the "wilderness" of entrepreneurship.